Sleeping Beauty and Brains
by Foags
Summary: *chapter 4 updated!!!* Sleeping Beauty with a Hogwarts twist...who is Hermione's prince charming? read and find out!
1. The Deep Sleep

A/N: hey hey all you hp fans! i hope you enjoy this hogwarts version of sleeping beauty!  
  


Chapter 1: The Deep Sleep  
  


Hermione was daydreaming in Potions again. She hadn't been able to focus for a long time. She had just broken up with Viktor and her mind kept wandering.  
Perhaps Miss Granger could tell us, Snape's voice interuppted her thoughts, Or, is the window too facinating? The Slytherin side of the dungeon snickered. Draco winked and licked his lips seductively. Hermione glared at him before answering.  
The Sleeping Draft contains one root of monkswood and ground porcupine quills added after the potion boiled for ten minutes. Then you add the sliced mandrake root and snake skin. Let sit for thrity minutes and take it off the heat. Cheers. She finished rather quickly and beamed at the response of laughter from the students at her smart-ass comment. Snape glared, obviously dissapointed in not being able to deduct any points.  
Well, you heard her! Begin your potions! he barked. Hermione was working with Ron and Harry with Draco. All of whom, though she had absolutely no idea, had the major hots for her.  
So Ron asked inching closer, how exactly do we do this?  
You know perfectly well, Ron, she retorted, now please give me some space so that I may properly slice the mandrake root. Ron then backed away about a centimeter. Hermione glared.  
S'amatter, Mione? Am I not sexy enough for you? Ron gave her the puppy dog eyes', Do I not turn you on?  
You couldn't turn me on if you were the last person on the planet. She retorted, still slicing. She then put her forehead on his and said, Because, there would still be sheep. She then calmly went back to her slicing and ignored the uproar of laughter erupting from behind them.  
So, Weasley, a new low, Draco added after he finally stopped laughing, you've been demoted to below sheep level' Harry and Draco then erupted in gaffaws once more. Ron's face turned bright red, it clashed horribly with his hair. All of them had developed quite nicely in the past year. Hermione had filled out nicely at the top and had as many hormones as the others. The boys had all grown considerably and become much more muscular, due to much Quidditch practice. One more thing had changed though, hormones. More active than ever, all three boys had constant hard-ons just thinking about Hermione. However, she had no feelings toward them whatsoever. Or so she thought.  
The three guys hit on her constantly during the rest of the potions class. Hermione coming up with clever retorts to shoot down each one.  
Alright. The potions should be done. Snape stood from his desk. Who can tell me the cure for the Sleeping Draft? For the one we have made is so powerful, there is only one way to cure it. Hermione's hand pierced the air as it shot straight up. Snape ignored it, as usual. He only called on her when she wasn't paying attention. Mr. Malfoy? Potter? Weasley? Longbottom? They all remained silent. Very well. Miss Granger? Snape said dully, admitting his defeat.  
True love's first kiss. She said matter-of-factly. The entire class filled with whispers and gossip.  
THAT IS CORRECT, MISS GRANGER. Snape yelled over the murmurs. And, uh, fivepointstogryffindor. And even though he said it quietly, Hermione beamed as she claimed defeat over Snape for the day.  


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Snape, however, does not give up that easily. At dinner that evening, he slipped a drop of the Sleeping Draft into Hermione's drink (BAD SNAPE! i know hes really not THAT evil...but i gotta get her asleep somehow!). He then snuck off with no one the wiser. And as Hermione took one small sip, she fell into Ron's lap. If she was awake, she would have been all too aware of the hardened, large bulge under his robes, but she was out cold.  
Ron whispered urgently, I think Mione's dead!  
  
A/N: please let me know what you think so far! who will be her one true love'? i dunno...read and find out!  
  
reviewing...it brings really really really good karma...muchliestness best karma :)  
  
thanks for your input and read fics by herbie' she has really good ron/hermione stuff :)


	2. Draco's Reaction

Chapter 2: Draco's Reaction  
  


It has come to my attention that Miss Granger is in the Deep Sleep Professor Dumbledore announced to the Gryffindors. Until the culprit is found, we will procede as normal. Word spread like wildfire and Draco was the first one Harry and Ron told.  
Oh no! Draco was extremely concerned. What do we do?  
There's nothing we CAN do. Harry said.  
She can only wake up with true love's first kiss. Ron added.  
But we all love Draco said after tearing his eyes off of Pansy's ass.  
Ron said as he rolled his eyes, we do. Well we can wait and try to enjoy our dinner. Draco followed them to the Gryffindor table. Dumbledore had taken to the notion that mixing the houses was a good idea. That it would somehow help if there were friends in different houses. Of course Harry, Ron, and Draco had no objections. They all sat down in a row and Pansy sat across from Draco, much to their surprise.  
I figured you all would know the scoop on Granger. She said. As she reached across the table for the chicken, giving Draco full view down her blouse. His eyes widened as she pretended to struggle to pick up the chicken platter. Harry and Ron just looked at each other and rolled their eyes.  
In love with Mione indeed' Ron thought. He can't even make it through one meal without looking down Pansy's shirt.' By now she had managed to successfully eat her chicken and everyone had moved on to dessert. There was chocolate mousse. Pansy greedily took a bowl and stuck her finger in it. She slowly brought it to her lips and reached her tongue out of her mouth to lick it clean. She repeated this motion many times before she actually ate her mousse like a normal person, however, she had succeeded in her mission. Draco was now watching her nonstop, hoping she would want to reach across the table for a cherry, which she did. She gave the happy Draco another grand showing of her breasts before returning to her suductive method of eating her mousse. Harry and Ron just watched Draco in awe and dissbelief.  
in love with Mione,' Harry thought, right... and I'm the King of France.' The meal was finished, but Pansy wasn't. She then came over to Draco and bent over to whisper something in his ear. He nodded and she sat herself smack dab in the middle of his lap. Suddenly she jumped up screaming and ran out of the hall.   
EEW! EEW! EEW! EEEEW! She ran down the hall as her disgusted screams echoed around them all.  
Way to go, Stiffy. Ron said and he slapped Draco on the back.  
'Atta way, Stiffy, Harry said doing the same.  
You'll have Mione awake in no time.  
  
  
A/N: i appologize for the shortness of this chapter...im a little pressed for time these days  
  
read Herbie's fics! and may i say dkscully is quite good as well.  
  
review!  
  
luv ya all! -heart- foags


	3. Harry's Reaction

Disclaimer: i dont own any of these characters, and even this part of the plot isnt mine...this is out of a episode: the one after the superbowl...anyways...i wish it were mine...but its not...i hope you enjoy it anyway!  
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Come on, Harry. Ron said, We're supposed to see Hermione in the Hospital Wing today  
  
I know, Harry said, I just don't think I'm ready to see her yet. I mean, I'm still in a bit of a shock you know?  
  
Yeah, I know... Ron paused and sighed, well, we can go tomorrow then. Alright, mate?  
  
  
  
Well, don't want to be late for breakfast.  
  
Harry and Ron went down to the Great Hall where they met Draco and, unfourtuatly, Pansy. Apparently she believed his story about him having something in his pocket...riiight...that's what it was. Ron couldn't believe how flaky she was. But this was normal for Draco. When he wasn't chasing Hermione, he was always after big boobs. We're not talking, you know, Cameron Diaz, we're talking Barbie boobs. Anyways, this didn't bother Ron, after all, now he had less competition.  
  
Good morning, boys! Pansy said in a voice way to high pitched for the morning, and way too cheerful.  
  
Mornin, Pansy, Ron managed to get out, still trying to make sure he could still hear. They walked over to the table and had a seat. Before they knew it, breakfast had appeared and Ron realized how hungry he was. He filled his plate with a bit of everything and dug in. As for Harry, he was engrossed in a conversation with (GASP...of ALL people!) Parvarti Patil.  
  
Haven't talked to you in awhile, Harry, she said, helping herself to some eggs. I'm awfully sorry about Hermione, I know how close you two were.  
  
Oh, well... Harry began, It's not too bad. I mean, she's only sleeping. It's not like she's dead or anything.  
  
_Smooth, mate. Real smooth_ Ron thought as he ate his bacon.  
  
Parvati said, At least there's hope. So, what have you been up to lately? This conversation continued with more stupid responses from Harry and more small talk from Parvati until it had gotten to the point where Parvati was hitting on him.  
  
Well, I've been having some trouble in Divination, she began, which was obviously a huge lie since Divination was her best class. Everyone knew Professor Trelawney ADORED her and Lavender. so, I was hoping maybe you could help me study... As she said this she slowly moved her hand up and down his thigh. That was enough to drive any guy mad, no wonder Harry said yes. That was just his hormones talking, any excuse to get some action. Ron knew this and was thinking this to himself as he ate. He was enjoying watching Harry struggle, he didn't get to do that very often.  
  


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Well, when Jupiter is in line with Mars, what does that mean? Harry was busy quizzing Parvati on the alignment of the planets, the part she REALLY didn't understand.' It was all an act, this was obvious. But what was her motive? Ron didn't know, he didn't really care either. He was too busy worrying about Hermione. Ron excused himself and went to the bedroom to study, leaving the two love-birds' alone.  
  
Ok, he's gone, Parvati pulled Harry over to the couch and threw him down. He was so caught off guard he was lying down on his back. She climbed on top of him and straddled him. She bent over and proceeded to kiss him as hard as she could. She licked his lips, begging for entrance, which he gave her willingly of course. There was not one bit of his mouth her tongue did not touch. She could feel what she was doing to him, the bulge in his pants became harder and harder. She smiled at herself and continued licking his tongue.  
  
You know, she said between kisses. I was wondering if you had ever worn women's underwear... At this Harry pulled back and had a confused expression on his face.  
  
No, why?  
  
she said, kissing him again, I was thinking it'd be kinda sexy, if you wore mine. Tonight. At dinner. Harry pulled back again.  
  
You want me to wear your panties?  
  
  
  


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How you hangin in there, tiger? Parvati said, later that night at dinner, as she stroked his thigh again.  
  
Some in, some out.  
  
How come all I can think about is taking this piece of ice in my mouth, and licking you all over? Parvati said, holding up her goblet, looking at Harry with mysterious eyes.  
  
Because I grew up with the Dursley's and God is making up for it? Harry was looking more turned on by the minute. Parvati's hand slid closer and closer to his quivering member (10 things i hate about you...a classic) with every stroke. She leaned over to whisper in his ear.  
  
Meet me in the bathroom, as she got up to leave, she cupped him. She left the Great Hall and Harry sat still for a moment. Then he said in a very cheerful and upbeat tone,  
  
I'm going to the bathroom now! He followed Parvati and opened the bathroom door. She led him into a stall.  
  
Ok, mister. Let's see those panties. Harry dropped his pants and proceeded to take off his robes. Very nice, but to get the full effect I need to see them alone... Harry took off the rest of his clothes. Turn around, let me see the back He turned around and modeled the panties, not noticing Parvati opening the stall door and collecting his clothes.  
  
So what do you think, Parvati? Parvati? He turned around to see Parvati standing there holding all his clothes.  
  
It's payback time, for the worst Yule Ball EVER!  
  
That was years ago! How could you still be mad about that?  
  
Why don't you owl me in a few years and tell me if you're still mad about this. And with that, she left, leaving Harry in the bathroom wearing nothing but a pink girl thong.  
  


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You know, Harry, Ron said, one of the strings on my guitar broke...  
  
You don't have a guitar!  
  
Yes I do! Anyways...hey, Harry, can I borrow your G-string?! Draco laughed his ass off for the third or fourth time that day. Ron and Draco had given Harry hell about the whole fiasco.  
  
So how long have you been wanting to say that one?  
  
Ron smiled, about 20 minutes...  
  
End Chapter  
  
A/N: REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! reviewing brings good karma  
  
Read fics by Herbie and fics by Nicole...both really great fic writers...good times  
  
-heart- foags


	4. By Process of EliminationMaybe

Disclaimer: sadly, i do not own any of the harry potter characters. and even sadder (i am aware that isnt a real word...i just dont care) i do not own any of the actors...meaning tom felton and rupert grint...hot-ties on the loose, man! dan can...blow up in a cloud of smoke for all i care...just give me tom and im set...anyways...all i own is the plot...no characters...no actors :(...just plot  
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Chapter 4: By Process of Elimination...Maybe...  
  
Ron thought to himself, If Draco and Harry don't REALLY love he shook it off...it was too much for him. He didn't want to think about that. As much as he had dreamed of that day, the day he and Hermione would declare their, dare he say it, love for each other. But now, that his wish might actually come true, he was finding it harder to sleep, concentrate, and just perform easy tasks: such as walking. He literally fell into the Great Hall yesterday. Draco tormented him plenty for that...oh yes...he will never let Ron forget that. Now everytime he sees him, he asks Ron if his shoes are tied. When Ron replies Draco continues with are you sure they aren't tied TOGETHER? Yes, Draco certainly had fun with that.  
  
Harry hardly noticed anything anymore. He was still in shock for being left in the bathroom wearing only a hot pink thong. No one had forgotten that either...oh no...how could they? I mean, would you? I didn't think so. So everywhere he went, Harry was tormented; even by the teachers. Trelawney's latest prediction: Ah, yes, Harry, dear...I am seeing something...yes...oh my! It is a corpse! I do believe it is you, just a few weeks from now...It is you! Oh my dear! And...what are you WEARING? Is that? Yes, I think it is...It's hot pink! The whole class had fun with that one, as you can only imagine. Parvati hadn't looked happier. I mean, if you had pulled something like that, how could you not look smug all the time? Exactly. You couldn't. Right. Moving on...now...back to our good friend Ronald.  
  
Ron was sitting in the Common Room doing his homework. And by that I mean, sitting staring blankly at his parchment, thinking about Hermione and how he...you know...Then, suddenly, Neville Longbottom walked up.  
  
he said so quietly it made Ron jump.  
  
OH! It's just you, Neville...DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!  
  
Sorry, mate.  
  
Anyways, what's up? Ron put down his quill and faced Neville.  
  
Well, it's a bit hard to explain. he began, looking at the floor. I mean, it's actually easy, it's just hard to...to tell someone else...or something. It--It's about...Hermione.  
  
Ron swallowed hard. What about her, Neville? his voice shook slightly, he hoped it didn't show.  
  
I think--I think...well... Neville was obviously trying to pour some burden out onto Ron in hope of support. Ron didn't think he really wanted to be the shoulder to cry on, but Neville was his friend, and he wasn't going to just stand back and let him suffer. You know Hermione better than anyone else I know, Ron. She's always with you, talking to you, you guys spend every moment together. So, you must know her the best of anyone.  
  
Ron interupted him, Where is this going? You are obviously in some kind of emotional termoil and need to get something out. So just get it out.  
  
he sighed. He took a deep breath. I think I'm in love with Hermione... Ron's jaw dropped.  
  
You can't be serious... Ron was starting to get angry. As much as he didn't want to admit it, the thought of someone else stealing Hermione was enough to make him want to strangle Neville. Even though he was afraid, he was more afraid of losing her than loving her. It was all he could do to not kill Neville on the spot.  
  
Neville nodded. It's just...she was always helping me with everything. She was always so nice to me. And when I asked her to the Yule Ball, I thought for sure I'd know where she stood on our whole...well...relationship. Whether it was friendship, pity, or whatever. But, when she said she was already going with someone, that didn't give me the answer I wanted. So...my feelings just grew stronger with anticipation. I know it must sound lame, but I think I love her.  
  
_GOD DAMMIT! MOTHER OF --! SON OF A BITCH!!!1 FUCK!!! FUCK!!!! FUCK!!!! BLOODY FUCKING HELL!!!!!!  
  
_Right, Neville... Ron said, while the above thoughts were flying in his head. Let's give you a test then...how do you feel when you see her?  
  
My stomach kind of does a flip-flop thing.  
_  
CRAP_  
  
Ok...is that all?  
  
Well, I think about her all the time. I dream about her...  
  
You DREAM about her? Ron stared, he didn't think Neville had it in him to dream THAT, What kind of dreams are these?  
  
He went red and couldn't go on.  
  
_DOUBLE CRAP...FUCK...  
  
_ Ron's voice trailed off... Is it only with Hermione? Or do you dream about other girls too.  
  
Well, it's mostly Hermione, but sometimes it's...other girls. It varies. Neville seemed to be having a hard time with this conversation. Ron couldn't blame him. At least he didn't know what Ron was thinking...  
  
Well, try to get over her, you know... Ron said, You can get through this...just start looking at other girls...  
  
You missunderstand, Ron. I was wondering if you think I should kiss her...you know...try to wake her up.  
  
_MOTHER OF FUCK! THIS GUY WON'T QUIT...FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!  
  
_Well, since you seem unsure of her feelings...I wouldn't. At least not right now...I mean...I would wait until someone else tries. I wouldn't want you to be first and get your heart ripped in to if she didn't wake up.  
  
Good thinking, Ron. Neville said, Thanks, mate, this meant a lot to me...  
  
_FUCK! THIS MEANT SOMETHING TO HIM...CRAP....  
  
_Uh...no problem... Neville got up and left the Common Room. Ron felt like barfing.  
  
End Chapter  
  
A/N: ok! hope you all reveiw  
  
thanks to all my reviewers...all both of them:  
yay! herbie and nicole! good karma to you!  
  
reviewing brings good karma...  
  
read nicole and herbie's fanfics too...as well as being star reviewers...they also write real good...(i know thats improper grammar...that was the point...anyways...hope to hear from lots of you!)


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